8-30-24
| listening: |
persona music |
| feeling: |
happy! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ) |
hi!!!!!!!!!!!!! morning entry cause i'll be taking flights home from school
today, and won't be stationary until past 10pm at the earliest (￣ﾛ￣;)
first month of my senior year pretty much over with atp, and i'm not
feeling too bad! once we get back from labor day break we get to go to our
internships and don't have to sit in the school cafeteria (and the
sweltering heat outside (＃｀д´)ﾉ) anymore!!! hooray!! we get our
assignments later today so i'm excited to see what i get :)
we did senior sunrise this morning and it was actually
so much fun!! not specifically the sunrise part tho, my friends and i
went out to a diner for breakfast before school since we were up so early-
there is no way i'm getting up at 5am again any time soon -v- i got
french toast and it is actually the 3rd best i've had in my life (i
still need to make my french toast blog for here... its on the to-do i
promise)
we got up to a decent amount of shenanigans at the diner, laughing and
carrying on and
making everyone put their phones in the middle of the table for "family
dinner"
which was hilarious. i brought my digicam and my roomate took a ton of
pictures (esp while everyone was eating so now my camera roll kinda looks
like i'm a stalker -_-) it's weird to back to school now because we have to
go thru the whole day still. it really felt like a weekend! at least
fridays are a shorter schedule then the rest of the week (￣0￣)
8-20-24
| listening: |
sonic rock tracks mixed with lamp LOL |
| feeling: |
no clue! nothing in particular (*´﹃｀*) |
| doing: |
watching video essays |
hi! genuinely forgot what i was gonna talk about today but i'm having a lot
of fun watching
this video
as i write this! later today i'll need to work on college stuff but this is
making me really interested in old tech designs, specifically flip phones,
alllll over again. (♡⸃ ◡ ⸂♡) i think i'll genuinely start looking into
getting my own in the near-ish future, maybe when i finish highschool. i
just redownloaded instagram on tuesday (YES BAD IK) however after being
offline for the most part since around the beginning of the year, i can now
say this shit is MID and BORING AS FUCK and i don't really
feel inclined to be on the app much. (green yuri editors are really cooking
tho, i've been starved of edits on pinterest)
long story short, i think the detox worked! o(≧∇≦o)
once i graduate i want to ditch my iphone (sorry mom, you'll have to
live with the green messages you loathe so much) and leave the social medias
on my phone currently (insta, tumblr, and youtube) and use only their web
versions so i can focus on immersing myself in the world around me.
even though my current phone usage in the social media area is pretty low,
it can still be improved.
i spend a lot of time on my phone in discord talking to friends, reading
manga saving pictures on pinterest, and spotify of course. which isn't
terrible, but can be less, yk? i want to try and get some sort of flip phone
(or the android flip cause its cute lol) for most of my daily usage. i'll
likely keep the ipad tho, because procreate and toonsquid are genuinely so
convenient and useful i don't want to leave them behind ヽ(`д´；)/ also i
want to keep playing my periodic games of pjsk/bang girls dream band party
(or whatever it's called), meow tower, piffle ball, and sky cotl lol
now HARD LEFT TURN because i need to talk about the new sonic game.
sonic x shadow generations. wonderful name, i know. good job sega.
JOKES ASIDE, i'm losing my fucking mind rn. ━(((;ﾟДﾟ)))━ you
mean to tell me there's an absolutely insane collectors edition of the game
that comes with - most notably - physical copies of the artbook, the
soundtrack on cd, a dreamcast jewel case, and
A SONIC AND SHADOW DREAMCAST STATUE???????????? (๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ for
the low, low price of two hundred and fifty usd. i think the worst
part of this is i have more than enough money to my name to buy this
currently, but idk if i can in good conscience (´；ω；`) i really want to
buy it though omg. i can feel the judgement from "the powers that be" over
my potential purchase of this item and genuinely with how i've been brought
up as a person i don't think i can do it. which SUCKS SO BAD because I CAN
AFFORD IT. (ʘ言ʘ╬) i made enough money at my job to buy multiple and
i'm not even going to buy one. щ(ﾟДﾟщ)
aughghguhdgflkiugholisujnhtrfliufd. maybe i'll get over it. who knows.
here's a picture of the collection for those curious:
8-19-24
| listening: |
tommy feburary6 and serani poji type music |
| feeling: |
indifferent mostly... |
okay as i am ignoring my college application responsibilities for the
moment, i have time to write a real diary entry. yay! gonna try and use more
kaomoji bc tbh importing the animal crossing emojis as i wrote was tedious
and idk if i want to bring that back as my main system. i totally will for
my animal crossing shrine but otherwise it's on the fence...
we did a t-shirt painting event for seniors today and it was more fun than
expected tbh. i did get fabric paint on my polo so that shit is NOT coming
out lmao (ﾟωﾟ；) also i won a core value for kindness today. on one hand i
do try my best to be very kind to everyone but on the other hand it's kind
of silly to recieve the weekly title for it in front of the whole school.
right before they announced the awards, i had thought to myself "they're not
going to give them to seniors because we won't be at the morning meetings"
and tuned out and then they announced my name T-T so i kinda just looked
shocked while everyone else clapped... a bit embarrasing ಠ_ಠ
as a whole, school is going okay so far. second week of senior year and
we've done nothing more than sit through meetings in the auditorium all day
(which feels terrible btw, tbh i'd rather sit in the classroom
without the cushioned chairs so i can at least move around some...) so
workload-wise it's not bad.
college is a whole other subject though. i wouldn't say i want to go to
college (because who dreams of work after all) but i need to make money and
i need a degree to do that in cyber stuff. so off to college i go.
applications are so annoying cause they ask me questions like i'm gonna get
married to someone. why do you need to know all this man!!! (i do
know why but the application process is so tedious, and i'm onlt doing
common app rn) plus i am so cooked in the funds department :'D i'm certainly
lucky to be where i am now bc i know i'm very well off thanks to my parents
jobs, but i pretty much fall into the "parents make enough money to not
qualify for fafsa but not enough to put three kids through college back to
back" category. honestly, even if it was just me going to college i think
the costs are most of a yearly income so it's still not really achievable.
my test scores and grades should get me decent scholarships, but if i were
to get into MIT or something i am so done for. last i checked that
was ~70k USD a year and i don't even have an act score in their average
range. everyone there is at a 35-36 and i'm at a 31 ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ realistically i
know that my score is fine and i can get into most schools i want to but tbh
i can't help feeling a little dumb. plus a sizable amount of my friends made
higher on their first take of the act
without even studying and that's the result i get after 7+
takes of the act. frustrating stuff!!
if only i was better at math... (;_;)
ignoring depressing college stuff, i can say that while i don't dream of
work i do dream of my perfect apartment life!! of course i
would rather have a house but in this economy? that shit is NOT looking
promising lol. i do have dreams of great success and love and life and
hopefully i can achieve them because if i don't that will cause some other
problems (ﾟωﾟ；) if i'm being completely honest, my ideal life probably
looks a lot like what's displayed on
annika's vlog series
which i've been super into ever since i stumbled upon vlogging videos
freshman year. i don't think i've really been into keeping up with a
youtuber before her tbh, her videos just feel so calming to watch and even
though many things are idealized online she does show everyday mishaps that
make her videos just that much more entertaining and inspiring to watch lol.
vlogs and baking videos have become a big part of my weekly routine because
they're so calming and give me something to look forward to creating for my
future! （*＾ワ＾*） honestly, if i was able to keep a nice apartment with
someone i loved and work a job i didn't hate but still make enough to live
comfortably off of with decent vacation options and things like that, i'd be
set.
for some reason that feels like asking for a lot though... （ꐦ𝅒_𝅒）
might start making writing here a part of my nightly routine so i have at
least some archive of my thoughts? but for now i need to get ready for bed
so adios :)
8-18-24
| listening: |
visiting hours - kero kero bonito |
| feeling: |
concerned about catching covid from my friends (again -_-) |
hi i don't actually have much time to write today, so this is kind of a
placeholder thing bc i really need to go to sleep. may come back and school
and stuff. we'll see. howdy to anyone reading this. idk i never say howdy.
i'm going to go to sleep now -v-