8-30-24
| listening: |
persona music |
| feeling: |
happy! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ) |
hi!!!!!!!!!!!!! morning entry cause i'll be taking flights home from school today, and won't be stationary until past 10pm
at the earliest (￣ﾛ￣;)
first month of my senior year pretty much over with atp, and i'm not feeling too bad! once we get back from labor
day break we get to go to our internships and don't have to sit in the school cafeteria (and the sweltering heat outside
(＃｀д´)ﾉ) anymore!!! hooray!! we get our assignments later today so i'm excited to see what i get :)
we did senior sunrise this morning and it was actually so much fun!! not specifically the sunrise part tho, my
friends and i went out to a diner for breakfast before school since we were up so early- there is no way i'm
getting up at 5am again any time soon -v- i got french toast and it is actually the 3rd best i've had in my life (i
still need to make my french toast blog for here... its on the to-do i promise)
we got up to a decent amount of shenanigans at the diner, laughing and carrying on and
making everyone put their phones in the middle of the table for "family dinner" which was hilarious. i brought my
digicam and my roomate took a ton of pictures (esp while everyone was eating so now my camera roll kinda looks like i'm a
stalker -_-) it's weird to back to school now because we have to go thru the whole day still.
it really felt like a weekend! at least fridays are a shorter schedule then the rest of the week (￣0￣)
8-20-24
| listening: |
sonic rock tracks mixed with lamp LOL |
| feeling: |
no clue! nothing in particular (*´﹃｀*) |
| doing: |
watching video essays |
hi! genuinely forgot what i was gonna talk about today but i'm having a lot of fun watching
this video
as i write this! later today i'll need to work on college stuff but this is making me really interested in old tech
designs, specifically flip phones, alllll over again. (♡⸃ ◡ ⸂♡) i think i'll genuinely start looking into getting my own
in the near-ish future, maybe when i finish highschool. i just redownloaded instagram on tuesday (YES BAD IK) however
after being offline for the most part since around the beginning of the year, i can now say this shit is MID and
BORING AS FUCK and i don't really feel inclined to be on the app much. (green yuri editors are really cooking tho,
i've been starved of edits on pinterest)
long story short, i think the detox worked! o(≧∇≦o) once i graduate i want to ditch my iphone (sorry mom, you'll
have to live with the green messages you loathe so much) and leave the social medias on my phone currently (insta, tumblr,
and youtube) and use only their web versions so i can focus on immersing myself in the world around me.
even though my current phone usage in the social media area is pretty low, it can still be improved. i spend a lot
of time on my phone in discord talking to friends, reading manga saving pictures on pinterest, and spotify of course.
which isn't terrible, but can be less, yk? i want to try and get some sort of flip phone (or the android flip cause its
cute lol) for most of my daily usage. i'll likely keep the ipad tho, because procreate and toonsquid are genuinely so
convenient and useful i don't want to leave them behind ヽ(`д´；)/ also i want to keep playing my periodic games of
pjsk/bang girls dream band party (or whatever it's called), meow tower, piffle ball, and sky cotl lol
now HARD LEFT TURN because i need to talk about the new sonic game. sonic x shadow generations. wonderful
name, i know. good job sega. JOKES ASIDE, i'm losing my fucking mind rn. ━(((;ﾟДﾟ)))━ you mean to tell me
there's an absolutely insane collectors edition of the game that comes with - most notably - physical copies of the
artbook, the soundtrack on cd, a dreamcast jewel case, and
A SONIC AND SHADOW DREAMCAST STATUE???????????? (๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ for the low, low price of
two hundred and fifty usd. i think the worst part of this is i have more than enough money to my name to buy this
currently, but idk if i can in good conscience (´；ω；`) i really want to buy it though omg. i can feel the judgement from
"the powers that be" over my potential purchase of this item and genuinely with how i've been brought up as a person i
don't think i can do it. which SUCKS SO BAD because I CAN AFFORD IT. (ʘ言ʘ╬) i made enough money at my job to buy multiple
and i'm not even going to buy one. щ(ﾟДﾟщ) aughghguhdgflkiugholisujnhtrfliufd. maybe i'll get over it. who knows.
here's a picture of the collection for those curious:
8-19-24
| listening: |
tommy feburary6 and serani poji type music |
| feeling: |
indifferent mostly... |
okay as i am ignoring my college application responsibilities for the moment, i have time to write a real diary entry.
yay! gonna try and use more kaomoji bc tbh importing the animal crossing emojis as i wrote was tedious and idk if i want
to bring that back as my main system. i totally will for my animal crossing shrine but otherwise it's on the fence...
we did a t-shirt painting event for seniors today and it was more fun than expected tbh. i did get fabric paint on my polo
so that shit is NOT coming out lmao (ﾟωﾟ；) also i won a core value for kindness today. on one hand i do try my best to be
very kind to everyone but on the other hand it's kind of silly to recieve the weekly title for it in front of the whole
school. right before they announced the awards, i had thought to myself "they're not going to give them to seniors because
we won't be at the morning meetings" and tuned out and then they announced my name T-T so i kinda just looked shocked
while everyone else clapped... a bit embarrasing ಠ_ಠ
as a whole, school is going okay so far. second week of senior year and we've done nothing more than sit through meetings
in the auditorium all day (which feels terrible btw, tbh i'd rather sit in the classroom without the cushioned
chairs so i can at least move around some...) so workload-wise it's not bad.
college is a whole other subject though. i wouldn't say i want to go to college (because who dreams of work after all) but
i need to make money and i need a degree to do that in cyber stuff. so off to college i go. applications are so annoying
cause they ask me questions like i'm gonna get married to someone. why do you need to know all this man!!! (i do
know why but the application process is so tedious, and i'm onlt doing common app rn) plus i am so cooked in the funds
department :'D i'm certainly lucky to be where i am now bc i know i'm very well off thanks to my parents jobs, but i
pretty much fall into the "parents make enough money to not qualify for fafsa but not enough to put three kids through
college back to back" category. honestly, even if it was just me going to college i think the costs are most of a yearly
income so it's still not really achievable. my test scores and grades should get me decent scholarships, but if i were to
get into MIT or something i am so done for. last i checked that was ~70k USD a year and i don't even have an act
score in their average range. everyone there is at a 35-36 and i'm at a 31 ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ realistically i know that my score is
fine and i can get into most schools i want to but tbh i can't help feeling a little dumb. plus a sizable amount of my
friends made higher on their first take of the act without even studying and that's the result i get after
7+ takes of the act. frustrating stuff!! if only i was better at math... (;_;)
ignoring depressing college stuff, i can say that while i don't dream of work i do dream of my
perfect apartment life!! of course i would rather have a house but in this economy? that shit is NOT looking
promising lol. i do have dreams of great success and love and life and hopefully i can achieve them because if i don't
that will cause some other problems (ﾟωﾟ；) if i'm being completely honest, my ideal life probably looks a lot like what's
displayed on annika's vlog series which i've been super into ever since
i stumbled upon vlogging videos freshman year. i don't think i've really been into keeping up with a youtuber before her
tbh, her videos just feel so calming to watch and even though many things are idealized online she does show everyday
mishaps that make her videos just that much more entertaining and inspiring to watch lol. vlogs and baking videos have
become a big part of my weekly routine because they're so calming and give me something to look forward to creating for my
future! （*＾ワ＾*） honestly, if i was able to keep a nice apartment with someone i loved and work a job i didn't hate
but still make enough to live comfortably off of with decent vacation options and things like that, i'd be set.
for some reason that feels like asking for a lot though... （ꐦ𝅒_𝅒）
might start making writing here a part of my nightly routine so i have at least some archive of my thoughts? but for now i
need to get ready for bed so adios :)
8-18-24
| listening: |
visiting hours - kero kero bonito |
| feeling: |
concerned about catching covid from my friends (again -_-) |
hi i don't actually have much time to write today, so this is kind of a placeholder thing bc i really need to go to sleep.
may come back and school and stuff. we'll see. howdy to anyone reading this. idk i never say howdy. i'm going to go to
sleep now -v-